Questions That Needed Answering

I wrote these questions for myself in Africa (somewhere in Tanzania to be specific) and I thought I would post them as they may explain a lot to many people about what is going on with me, and where my mind and thoughts are at of late, so without further ado, here goes:

Q1) What makes me happy?
A1) My own abilities blossoming and to know and use my capabilities as such, coupled with quiet, warmth, grace, novelty (in these respects) an uninhibited demonstration of creativity and being praised. Also friends and in depth conversations with them and the exhilaration of making deep new friends and the comfort of being with old ones.

Q2) What makes me comfortable?
A2) Friends, home, warmth, quiet and elegance

Q3) What's the difference?
A3) The difference rests mainly in the factor of novelty, which brings fear.

Q4) What is the true purpose of this African holiday?
A4) The true purpose is to primarily learn my own abilities and faults and to see and know the world better with the faint shine of an African understanding and to appreciate a small understanding of the African psyche... and of course to add to my experiences of the world.

Q5) What do I want to do with my life?
A5) Experience the world, create something new, achieve notoriety... but not fame, cultivate my worldliness and sophistication, and complete my magnum opus (whatever that may be). All of these things while remaining a good, decent and unscrupulous person.

Q6) Do I want to marry? When? Whom?
A6) Marriage is simply a word and although I am not adverse for engaging in such a concept, I seek mostly right now to find companionship. This is of paramount importance to me at the moment as I have spent the last several months alone, especially in this regard. I should like a companion for the following reasons: security, emotional support and depth, sexuality and aesthetic comfort, and by far most importantly intellectual stimulation, understanding, and enjoyment... as well as financial and employment ventures. Theoretically all of these points may be parsed, but it is my hope to find these traits in one person to economize and draw upon more efficiently, particularly while traveling, which is now to remain one of my unceasing habits of life. I believe that such a person would be a deep source of comfort and a great muse. I crave to hold a woman of this description in my arms once more, one who makes me feel alive, one who arouses my mind and passions, one who understands me, and one who feels completely mutually for me as I do for her in every regard.

Q7) What are my strengths? Weaknesses?
A7) Weaknesses (as I know them): Unobservant, lazy, materialistic, sometimes irrational, overly cautious, unaccomplished (hobby wise) prone to procrastination Strengths: extremely knowledgeable, sophisticated, worldly, honest, open-minded, fairly creative, caring attractive, articulate, charismatic, charming, extremely thoughtful (intellectually), kind, versatile, fast-learner, confident, able, very optimistic, brave, adventuresome, exploratory

Q8) What have I truly learned from living in the UK and Africa about myself and generally?
Q8A) About myself I've learned primarily that I'm extremely capable and that I can handle most things that come my way. Also the fact that I am very knowledgeable on a great variety of subjects I've learned that I nearly always come across as excessively intellectual or sophisticated as this is and apparently always has been my natural disposition. Furthermore I've found that people are almost always very comfortable with me and my charm is a very real thing. I've also found that I have and deserve a huge amount of confidence, which frankly leads me to always exposing myself (nearly all parts) to excess, and possible danger of low esteem by others. I know a good deal of this is inherited from my family, particularly my mother. I can be very emotional and occasionally irrational, I am far more selective about those I choose as my friends or rather close friends. I'm very optimistic and rarely find or believe things are as bad as they appear. I'm much more open-minded and accepting than I knew. I'm very honest and yet courteous, generally meaning I won't go out of my way to hurt people. I am in fact rather attractive, facially, bodily and otherwise. I'm a bit patriotic for both the US and UK, thinking both nations to be the best in several respects. I learned that these patriotisms are blinding to me. I've learned that I am truly adept at language and am functionally fluent in German, and skilled (though not fluent) in Latin. I can eat anything but really do hate onions and spice. Finally I have tons to learn yet.
Q8B) About general matters I've learned: there tend to be very nice people everywhere, and most people are nice and cooperative. The English speakers rule the world, at least linguistically and financially. Glory is generally less majestic than I knew. A lot of people like Americans more than I thought, as well as loathe them. The rest of the world is far less educated, open-minded, or understanding than I suspected. Europe and America have developed and progressed tons. Solitary travel demonstrates man's true independence better than anything else, to travel alone (especially for women) takes a gigantic amount of strength. Money makes a huge amount of difference in nearly everything, meaning money is practically security and ability. The English tend to be very proud of their own nation, though they seldom realize it. Having a national vision helps things a lot, and corruption kills a nation. White skin has huge prejudices of wealth, ability... and gullibility attached to it. Time consistently creeps and some events are sure (ie death). Life always goes on, though bad things happen. Things always get better and those who are far-sighted, will realize this; those who are short-sighted, won't. Human beings are both good and consistently amazing. There's no place like home (To quote Dorothy).