Dating

My question is: how necessary is it to date a lot before leaping to the difficult and seemingly permanent obligation of marriage. I really do not know, and I know I waver on this question. I am sure like everything it is a matter of degree and varies for each individual, but I just do not understand how people can think that the first person they get close to is it. Maybe they are right and maybe one just knows, and maybe the whole notion of falling in love really happens and all, but somehow I doubt it is that simple or that likely to work this way. I mean historically, love really did not exist as a dominant force for choosing a life partner until about the past two hundred years.

I think that finding people to exclusively date around this age is fine, and can be very rewarding, but to only date to find a marriage partner, or to be that concerned with it is daft in my opinion. I believe getting to know people through most means open to us is optimal, and that often can be hindered by these artificial limits we set upon ourselves. It almost seems to be a difference between men and women, and this of course makes sense, for women are looking for stability earlier (as the theory goes anyway) and men are looking to spread their genes. I am sure there are a few guys out there my age who do not mind being tied down at this age, but they come rarely. People always have me wrong when I speak about this, they think it is some sort of allegory for me to go out and fuck a lot, but that is not my point whatsoever. I am simply saying, I think we should try to get to know more people before we are stuck in relationships that are a Herculean labour to end. I hear all the time about girls who are still with the same guy for years, and the poor fellow has only ever truly been with the one girl. The girls constantly claim, oh he is happiest with me and he would be too sad to leave. That could very well be true, but the point I need to make is how will he ever know unless he is given a chance to find out. Obviously if they were together forever the first several months will be difficult to be apart in, but that I think is just the pain of breakup to anyone. I feel that if it is truly meant to be, the relationship can begin again anew and with good feelings only, and often it can be nothing but toilsome to breakup, but if you truly think that you are the best pick for your mate, they will know it.

I am not saying that anyone should just break up constantly to find the 'better person', but I do think that often my peers remain in relationships out of fear, and truly miss a good deal of what I feel life is about as a result. As for myself you may ask, I think that I have found the perfect angel, as I am sure all of you but her would agree. While it is true that this may seem hypocritical, the big difference is that I do not anticipate a fully planned future with her, and as sad as it is for me to say or think, I do not expect entirely that we will always be together, so for now, I enjoy every second possible with her. When the time comes, I expect that one of us will move to a different location, thus separating us. The other thing I hope dearly for is that we may again meet in several years and by that time find each other irresistible. This is a tad bit naive I fancy, but I think if it is truly the best possible relationship for us to be in, it will show in the end. Have confidence in your relationships and fear not so much that you need constant reassurance through the false hope of marriage. I love Alyssa dearly, and she me, and I think in the end it will show beyond doubt what was truly meant to be. To end this unhappy entry, let me just say this is truly the chaos of my thoughts on the subject, and I welcome all comments, but do be mindful that I am simply using this as a means of figuring out my own stance on things, and if it bored you or made you think less of me, remember that these are my thoughts today, tomorrow they may wax or wane in either direction, but that is how it goes, and if you truly want to know how I feel about it, ask me in a month.