The Merits of Formality

In this country, and likely a good deal over the rest of the world, I feel that casual stances and attitudes have taken far too much control lately. To me, although a certain degree of casualness can be good between people, but generally in other countries (or at least European ones)this attitude is reserved for very close friends, and family members. Even there, there tends or at least in the past there tended to be more of a rigid social structure than we have. Even in this country until more recent times it was that way for a large part. If you ever hear children from more traditional parts of the union calling their fathers' 'sir', it is due to this mentality. We have lost this way, by addressing everyone we meet by their first name, or by saying 'hi' to anyone on the street whether we know them or not. While people may think this produces an atmosphere of comfort, I believe it creates more an atmosphere of superficiality, which is alarming. If one thinks of all of this casualness as merely superficial, than it puts him no more at ease than if he had a much more rigid but deeper structure. I believe that superficiality leads to insincerity, and insincerity leads to a lower esteem. Casualness to me, overlooks and detracts from the finer things that produces culture and civilisation. It feels like a great leap backward to me in many ways to lose the formality and the comfort in affords. In a nation where everyone you meet is your best friend, you begin to have shallower relationships. For example, let us say that you meet someone, and because of the lack of a formality that we ought to have, you become 'fast friends' and then you discover to your horror later that this person is not worthy of your trust, or your companionship and they stab you in the back. Cultivating trust over the years is a more insured way to achieve stability, and thus confidence in a relationship. Of course this is coming from the man who believes that everyone should be the greatest of friends upon their initial meetings. So I realise the hypocrisy of writing on that specific point. On the other hand, I do think there are times when the casual atmosphere of some place that should require formality (such as a classroom, or work or something) can be damaging to the conceptions of exactly what a place is.

For example, if one is permitted to speak to the professors as if though they are an old acquaintance instead of formally needing to call them Dr./Prof etc., then he will assume that the same liberties and allowances someone who actually is an old acquaintance would grant, the professor will as well. Under this assumption, he may be inclined to ask for, and expect a favour, that the professor will not grant and thus be devastated by the result. What I am getting at, is that casualness leads to ambiguity on points of this nature, it makes murky the true relationship by giving it a false appearance, other than what it ought to be. On a whole other strain about the goodness of formality, I think it can improve the way people feel about themselves, and furthermore make things seem neater and more efficient in the long term. If I consider the way I feel when I dress formally, and the way I feel when I do not, I feel more productive and better about myself generally under the formal dress. This is not to say I never feel this way otherwise but it is much less constant in that case. Furthermore, everything seems to be of a more beautiful and alluring nature under the sway of formality. For example, I have always held a far greater respect and admiration for people who write well, which to me means formally. The words flow better and look far more sophisticated and refined with formality. I detest the internet styles, employed by everyone but most typical of young teenagers, akin to what John said lacking fully written words, or more so, lacking any degree of punctuation. The idea of punctuation although, relatively recent in the history of writing, is a God-sent blessing to us, why should we now choose to abandon it. It was created to prevent confusion and to create structure and standardisation. Other things that I love to be formal are things such as the customs and etiquette of all social situations. It makes me feel more at ease to see such customs taking place, because it gives me a sense that those who are engaging in this are educated and therefore intelligent. I know there are many bad things that can result from formality, but this is my stance upon it by and large, and I would like to hear any comments upon this subject by anyone so interested.